Tonalli Counseling Services

Childhood sexual abuse leaves more than just memories. It can fracture your sense of safety, make you question your worth, and stay stored in your nervous system long after it has been pushed out of your mind.

It often shows up years later as anxiety, shame, disconnection, or confusion, even when you have worked hard to move on. Some people come in knowing exactly what happened. Others carry only flashes, body memories, or a deep sense that something wasn’t right, even if they cannot name it.

In therapy, we focus on helping you reclaim what was taken: your voice, your boundaries, and your body. When you're ready, we go there. And when we do, the patterns that once ran your life begin to break open.

Sexual abuse in adulthood can be just as confusing, shaming, and isolating as abuse that happens in childhood. It might have been a date rape in college, a sexual assault by someone you trusted, or part of an intimate partner violence (IPV) relationship. You may find yourself minimizing what happened because there were no visible injuries, because you knew the person, or because you stayed in the relationship afterward.

Survivors often find that their sense of safety, trust, and connection changes in lasting ways. They may struggle with emotional closeness, sexual avoidance, or sexual behaviors that feel out of control. Many relate to patterns of love addiction and intimacy anorexia by feeling pulled toward unhealthy relationships while avoiding the kind of intimacy they actually want.

In therapy, we work to release the shame, restore a sense of safety in your body, and rebuild the capacity for healthy, mutual, and affirming connection.

Emotional or covert incest happens when a parent or caregiver relies on a child to meet emotional, relational, or even sexualized needs that should be met by another adult. This can include over-sharing about adult problems, treating the child like a partner, or using them for comfort, validation, or companionship in ways that blur healthy boundaries.

Enmeshment is when the boundaries between two people are unclear or non-existent. In an enmeshed relationship, your feelings, needs, and identity may have been shaped by someone else’s emotions and expectations. It can leave you feeling responsible for their well-being while disconnected from your own.

In therapy, we work to untangle these patterns, rebuild a strong sense of self, and create relationships where love and care are no longer tied to obligation, guilt, or fear.

When sexual abuse happens within a family, the betrayal runs through every layer of safety and belonging. The person who was supposed to protect you became the source of harm, leaving you to navigate a reality most people cannot imagine or talk about.

This kind of trauma can create a mix of emotions that feel impossible to hold at the same time. You might carry deep rage at what happened while also longing for that person to finally love you, protect you, or see your worth. These conflicting truths can leave you disoriented, torn between anger and hope, and unsure which feeling to trust or finding that you trust neither.

In therapy, we work with the nervous system, attachment patterns, and identity wounds that come from familial sexual trauma. The goal is to help you release what was never yours to carry, reclaim your boundaries and your voice, and begin to feel safe, strong, and whole on your own terms.

Betrayal trauma happens when someone you deeply trust, often a partner or a family member, violates that trust through lies, infidelity, hidden addictions, or other breaches of honesty and safety. The shock can feel like the ground beneath you has disappeared. You may find yourself questioning everything, including your own memories, instincts, and worth.

Intimacy disorders can develop when trauma, addiction, or betrayal distort the way we give and receive closeness. For some, intimacy feels unsafe, leading to emotional or sexual withdrawal. For others, there is a pull toward compulsive sexual or relational behaviors that do not match what they truly want.

In therapy, we work to stabilize your nervous system, rebuild your internal sense of truth, and create relationships where safety, honesty, and trust are non-negotiable.

Attachment wounds form when your earliest relationships did not provide the safety, care, or consistency you needed. These early injuries can shape how you see yourself, how you trust others, and how you navigate closeness and independence as an adult. You might feel overly responsible for others, emotionally shut down, or caught in cycles of anxiety and disconnection.

Inner child work and parts work create space to connect with the younger parts of you that were left unseen, unheard, or unprotected. These parts might show up as the voice that tells you not to trust anyone, the part that works hard to please others, or the part that pulls away the moment things feel too close.

In therapy, we focus on helping those parts of you feel safe, valued, and supported so they no longer have to carry the weight alone. The goal is a stronger, steadier sense of self and relationships that feel balanced, mutual, and safe.

Trauma is not just what happened to you. It is also what your body and nervous system had to hold onto in order to survive it. PTSIs can develop after a single event or through repeated, long-term exposure to stress and harm.

They may show up as intrusive memories, nightmares, hypervigilance, anxiety, irritability, emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from yourself and the world. These reactions are your body’s way of protecting you when it sensed danger, even if that danger is long past.

In therapy, we work to resolve the trauma at its root so your body no longer has to stay on high alert. The goal is to help you feel safe in your own skin, trust your responses, and live with more presence and peace.

• Healing from trauma often means learning how to have relationships without losing yourself in them. You may be trying to rebuild a partnership after betrayal, navigate family dynamics that drain you, or choose healthier connections moving forward.

  Boundary repair is a core part of this process. It’s about knowing where you end and someone else begins, and feeling confident protecting that space. For some, that means learning to say no without guilt. For others, it means letting safe people in without fear.

  In therapy, we work to rebuild your internal compass so you can choose relationships that are safe, mutual, and aligned with who you are now rather than who you had to be to survive.

You do not have to be the one with the addiction or trauma history to feel the impact of it. Partners of sex addicts, survivors of betrayal trauma, and family members of those healing from sexual trauma often carry their own wounds. This can include shock, grief, anger, anxiety, and a deep sense of instability when the truth comes to light.

You might be navigating triggers around intimacy, questioning if you can trust again, or deciding whether to stay in the relationship. You may also be trying to set boundaries while feeling pressure to support the other person’s healing.

In therapy, we focus on helping you find stability, clarify your role, and strengthen your boundaries so your well-being is not dependent on someone else’s recovery. This is a space for your healing, separate from the work your loved one is doing.